Brian Dunseth: Why I Don’t Watch MLS

I'm a soccer fanatic. A season-ticket holder to the Portland Timbers, I can't wait until they make their debut in MLS next year. Every Saturday—and Sunday—is spent watching the Premiership on FSC (to the consternation of my wife).

I love the flow of the game, the strategy and the anticipation of the development of the play.

I would like to show my allegiance to the American league by tuning in to watch MLS.

There's just one problem.

The likes of Brian Dunseth.

Dunseth is a commentator for Fox Soccer Channel. He's an expert in the painfully obvious. His vocabulary might be 1,000 words.

If Vin Scully is jazz, Brian Dunseth is elevator music.

I don't watch MLS because the skill of the game is below the Premiership (though it most obviously is). I don't watch it because listening to Dunseth is more annoying than listening to a screaming 2-year-old.

The executives at MLS still have't ...

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