Alan Gordon Gets Sweet Revenge as Toronto FC Defeat LA Galaxy 2-2

Now some of you may be wondering, wait a minute, wasn't this match a draw? Technically, yes it was, but only by the seat of its you-know-what.

However, don't tell this featured columnist, a.k.a. yours truly, that. This result, for Bruce Arena's Los Angeles Galaxy, was as good as a defeat.

The warning signs were obvious.

Exhibit A: Canada defeats Guadeloupe in a CONCACAF Gold Cup Group C match, 1-0.

Exhibit B: The United States (have mercy on this side, oh football gods) post their worst performance since the 4-0 body bag game against Spain...a 2-1 defeat to Panama in Group C.

People, this is similar to Luxembourg beating Germany, or San Marino beating Italy. Hello, hello, hello, I must be seeing some blood in the waters outside Tampa, and boy is it red with rage.

Exhibit C: A trio of women, named T-RIO (insert snicker here) post renditions of "O Canada" and "The Star-Spangled Banner" that were so atrocious, they are worthy of an apology...

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